Our daily countdown of the top newsmakers, groundbreakers and world-class fakers by Kevin Cusick.
10. (tie) BUBONIC PLAGUE
Right near the top of the list of things that you do NOT want to mutate into an untreatable form. (previous ranking: unranked)
10. (tie) BOB COSTAS
Sportscaster violates NBC’s first commandment: Thou shalt not take the name of the NFL or football in vain. (unranked)
10. (tie) MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES
Losing to lousy teams like Suns is usually a leading indicator that you ain’t all that. (unranked)
9. TONY CORNISH and DAN SCHOEN
Minnesota legislators give Twin Cities news outlets great opportunity to “localize” the sex harassment tsunami. (unranked)
8. WISCONSIN BADGERS
We can finally end the fiction that an unbeaten Big Ten team will EVER be excluded from the College Football Playoff. (unranked)
7. (tie) THE BALL FAMILY
The NBA’s youngest triple-double and a shoplifting arrest in China? They really are Big Ballers! (unranked)
7. (tie) NEBRASKA CORNHUSKERS
It only seems their 84-13 victory over the Gophers was a long time ago, in a galaxy far away. (unranked)
6. DONALD TRUMP
Turns out the commander in chief is now willing to go to Vietnam. (4)
5. RICHARD SHERMAN
How fitting is it that a ruptured Achilles’ should strike the NFL’s biggest heel? (unranked)
4. (tie) ST. THOMAS TOMMIES.
Much, much classier in their 97-0 whipping of St. Olaf than arch-rival St. John’s was in beating St. Scholastica 98-0. (unranked)
4. (tie) LOUIS C.K.
Comic admits to his perversions only after he’s caught … uh … red-handed. (1)
4. (tie) GEORGE TAKEI
Can’t wait to see all his witty tweets about the guy accusing him of sexual assault. (unranked)
3. NOTRE DAME FIGHTING IRISH
“Catholics” knocked out of title contention after absorbing another calamitous beating from “Convicts.” (unranked)
2. CASE KEENUM
His four-touchdown game should keep Teddy Bridgewater safely on the bench for a while. (unranked)
1. ROY MOORE
No judge in the country was more interested in teen outreach. (2)
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES
Veterans Day, Butch Jones, Jan Wenner, Lewis Hamilton, Kyrie Irving’s face, Roy Miller, Martellus Bennett, Jimmy Butler, Ezekiel Elliott, O.J. Simpson, Kevin Spacey, Twitter, New Delhi, Roy Halladay, sports talk radio, Anthony Weiner, Nike’s NBA jerseys, Mariah Carey, jury duty.
You can hear Kevin Cusick on Wednesdays on Bob Sansevere’s “BS Show” podcast on iTunes. You can follow Kevin on Twitter — @theloopnow.