Our countdown of the day’s top newsmakers, groundbreakers and world-class fakers by Kevin Cusick.
10. (tie) ELON MUSK
He talks of taking Tesla private, but his erratic behavior getting very public. (previous ranking: unranked)
10. (tie) NBC
Who knew about Matt Lauer’s office hijinks? Only the higher-ups. (unranked)
10. (tie) ESPN
If you blew $2 billion a year to televise the NBA, you’d also spend most of August promoting games on Christmas. (unranked)
9. ANGELINA JOLIE AND BRAD PITT
The higher profile the couple, the uglier the divorce. (unranked)
8. NORTH CAROLINA TAR HEELS
What’s causing the latest disgrace on Tobacco Road? Gotta be the shoes! (unranked)
7. DIANNE FEINSTEIN
To senator’s credit, it only took her 20 short years to figure out her driver was a Chinese spy. (unranked)
It’s not the Second City when it comes to senseless gun violence. It’s in a league all its own. (unranked)
5. ALEX JONES
Social media crackdown means you’re gonna have to look just a little harder to find his 9-11 bilge. (unranked)
4. DONALD TRUMP
He’ll agree to hundreds of interviews with CNN before he’ll do even one with Robert Mueller. (3)
3. RICK GATES
Paul Manafort was a lot more adept at picking ostrich jackets than, say, proteges. (unranked)
2. “THE BACHELORETTE”
You never really know your one true love … until you see their Internet history. (unranked)
1. RICHIE INCOGNITO
The Vikings are not THAT desperate for offensive linemen, and he might be the most offensive. (unranked)
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES
Stan Mikita, Chris Collins, Charlotte Rae, Las Vegas Aces, the Brady Bunch House, Serena Williams, Antonio Callaway, Williams Arena, Christian Ramirez, Keith Urban, Kellen Winslow Jr., Randy Moss, Johnny Manziel, LeBron James, Urban Meyer, Nicolas Maduro, Terrell Owens, Portugal, 3M Championship, goats, Andrew Sendejo, Alia Ghanem, Mike Scioscia, Zombie Boy, Sarah Jeong, James’ Franklin’s bruise.
The Loop is taking some time off for a dreaded Surgery Break. We’ll be back next Sunday, August 19, with the season’s first edition of The Loop Fantasy Football Report.
You can hear Kevin Cusick on Wednesdays on Bob Sansevere’s “BS Show” podcast on iTunes. You can follow Kevin on Twitter — @theloopnow.