DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 31 years. We have four lovely children and seven grandchildren.
I went to visit a friend out of state for a week. After I returned home, I went to make our bed. When I pulled back the sheets, I found a pair of lacy underwear that is absolutely not mine. I want to confront my husband, but what if I’m wrong? I wonder if there’s a logical explanation or it belongs to one of my children who no longer live in the house.
Abby, I love my husband, but I cannot tolerate betrayal like this. What should I do? — ON PINS AND NEEDLES
DEAR ON PINS AND NEEDLES: Unless your husband has taken to wearing lacy underwear to bed, it appears there may have been a sleepover guest in your absence. Show him what you found, tell him you love him but will not tolerate a betrayal like this. Then insist on marriage counseling. If he values your 31-year marriage, he will take you up on it.
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, “Aiden,” and I have been together for eight months. We’re both in our 20s. We go to his parents’ house every other week for dinner. I get along with them quite well.
The problem is, Aiden’s family eats very quickly, and I’m always the last one done. My family, on the other hand, tends to spend about an hour around the dinner table when we gather. Even when I try to eat quickly, I’m still way behind Aiden’s family.
How can I politely address this? I hate to keep people waiting, but I believe it’s wrong to leave food on my plate when I’m still hungry. — CHEWING AS FAST AS I CAN
DEAR CHEWING: I agree you shouldn’t leave food on your plate if you are still hungry. Eating slowly, thoroughly chewing one’s food and enjoying a meal in a relaxed manner is healthy. Wolfing down one’s food really isn’t. You are not going to change Aiden’s family’s lifestyle. If you bring this up, they may become defensive. Just enjoy your food as you have been, and let them enjoy theirs in the way they are used to.
You should absolutely take legal action if you’re interested in recouping your money. The first step would be to contact the police because the woman has committed fraud. The next step should be to call your lawyer. As to your hurt from her emotional manipulation, recognize that it’s time to divorce yourself from your relationship with her.
DEAR ABBY: When children/babies are screaming, crying or misbehaving in a restaurant and the parents do nothing, can we approach them or tell our server to approach them to quiet their child or take the child outside? This happens frequently, and it ruins our dinner. We are senior citizens and would like to enjoy a quiet and peaceful meal. What’s the proper way to handle this annoying situation? — IRRITATED DINER
DEAR IRRITATED DINER: When a child is screaming or misbehaving, a good parent takes the child outside until he/she calms down so other patrons are not bothered. When you encounter a parent who has such little consideration for the rest of the patrons in the restaurant, do NOT approach. Ask the server to do it or refer the problem to the manager.