Our weekly countdown of the top newsmakers, groundbreakers and world-class fakers by Kevin Cusick.
10. (tie) ROBERT DENIRO
Tirade against his driver shows that he really IS Travis Bickle. (previous ranking: unranked)
10. (tie) ANTHONY DAVIS
There are worse places to be stuck than New Orleans. Just ask any Cavalier. (unranked)
9. MIKKO KOIVU
Just what the Wild needed: another excuse for an underwhelming season. (unranked)
8. CORN SYRUP
It’s now clear that its absence is what gives Bud Light its distinctive lack of taste. (unranked)
7. (tie) SUPER BOWL LIII
One week later, and the only image that sticks in the mind are Adam Levine’s nipples. (unranked)
7. (tie) WARNER WOLF
Did the retired sportscaster vandalize his community’s sign? “Let’s go to the videotape!” (unranked)
6. ELIZABETH WARREN
One of the rare presidential candidates to crash and burn BEFORE announcing their candidacy. (unranked)
5. LINDSEY VONN
Wisely decided it was better to ski into retirement than to be carried into it. (unranked)
4. (tie) DONALD TRUMP
And the state of the union is still Threat Level Orange Dude. (unranked)
4. (tie) GREEN NEW DEAL
Promises “economic security” for all folks who are “unwilling to work.” That’ll save the planet, all right! (unranked)
3. JEFF BEZOS
It’s true … there are no minimum attractiveness standards when posting nude selfies. (unranked)
2. AMY KLOBUCHAR
Minnesota’s senator fulfills lifelong dream by becoming 100th candidate for 2020 Democratic presidential nomination. (unranked)
After week of scandals, is it too late to let this dumpster fire of a state secede again? (unranked)
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES
Frank Robinson, Albert Finney, Grammy Awards, Matt Whitaker, Sergio Garcia, Tom Brady, Alysa Liu, Kristaps Porzingis, Stacey Abrams, Liam Neeson, Deondre Francois, Adnan Virk, Rudy Gobert, Carson Wentz, Dave Portnoy, Magic Johnson.
The Loop continues the countdown to the Twin Cities’ hosting of the Final Four by looking back at the biggest upsets in NCAA tournament history.
You can hear Kevin Cusick on Wednesdays on Bob Sansevere’s “BS Show” podcast on iTunes. You can follow Kevin on Twitter — @theloopnow. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.